For those that are or have been with a narcissistic partner - the patterns of their love stories go in general terribly wrong.
I've somehow through my emotional trajectory managed to attract them and live with them and mould my heart around their sandy & icy clouds. I've heard their golden stories and seen the empires they claimed - it's a game, it's a play throughout their entire lives.
I've learnt you can not experience true love with one but breadcrumbs of feelings / emotions / facts - it's never the entire loaf - it's breadcrumbs of love and imagination to keep you locked on the position - a loner in a relationship in the Kingdom of You Will Never Really Know.
It all starts enchanting and then transforms into a dungeon, from the heat of love and happiness to the burn of lies, deceit and pain.
It all starts with a beautiful mirror, that attracts in the background of your portrait butterflies and Edenic plants to an ice cold portrait of criticism.
Unfortunately the narcissism that you share you life with lives a tragic and distructive life, carefully disguised with lies and the image of the false Self.
This false Self, knows it all, loves anger and inflicting pain onto others.
If you're battling such relationships and live & love in terror please know you are not alone.
While trying to balance the tight rope of a fake reality and a fake self they keep throwing arrows at those who are competition or refuse to idealise them.
It's abusive, it's painful and you might get lost along the way in the charismatic persona of your unpredictable partner.
He's forever innocent and guilt seems to somehow not match his vocabulary In any way, as if he purchased his words from the most noble markets of words.
These over the counter toxic words will create a nest where you're invited to stay, you're the antidote that needs to be loved and tortured and act like a source of energy.
Disagreements are not options - the goal is to obliterate the target.
Please know one thing loving yourself is the first step from healing from a narcissistic lover. Chose yourself. Chose the truth.