miercuri, 7 octombrie 2020

Narcissism and breadcrumbs

 


For those that are or have been with a narcissistic partner - the patterns of their love stories go in general terribly wrong.

I've somehow through my emotional trajectory managed to attract them and live with them and mould my heart around their sandy & icy clouds. I've heard their golden stories and seen the empires they claimed - it's a game, it's a play throughout their entire lives.




I've learnt you can not experience true love with one but breadcrumbs of feelings / emotions / facts - it's never the entire loaf - it's breadcrumbs of love and imagination to keep you locked on the position - a loner in a relationship in the Kingdom of You Will Never Really Know.

It all starts enchanting and then transforms into a dungeon, from the heat of love and happiness to the burn of lies, deceit and pain.

It all starts with a beautiful mirror, that attracts in the background of your portrait butterflies and Edenic plants to an ice cold portrait of criticism. 
Unfortunately the narcissism that you share you life with lives a tragic and distructive life, carefully disguised with lies and the image of the false Self.
This false Self, knows it all, loves anger and inflicting pain onto others.

If you're battling such relationships and live & love in terror please know you are not alone. 

While trying to balance the tight rope of a fake reality and a fake self they keep throwing arrows at those who are competition or refuse to idealise them.
It's abusive, it's painful and you might get lost along the way in the charismatic persona of your unpredictable partner.
He's forever innocent and guilt seems to somehow not match his vocabulary In any way, as if he purchased his words from the most noble markets of words.

These over the counter toxic words will create a nest where you're invited to stay, you're the antidote that needs to be loved and tortured and act like a source of energy.
Disagreements are not options - the goal is to obliterate the target.

Please know one thing loving yourself is the first step from healing from a narcissistic lover. Chose yourself. Chose the truth.

miercuri, 17 iunie 2020

Awake your inner hero


Welcome to the sanctuary.

My name is Liz and I’m here to guide you on opening all the doors that lead to your inner soul. It may not be a place that you know and it’s fine to feel lost at first, but we’ve got tea and poetry - psychology and a lot of soul.

There are many times in life that you may have been asked to fit in a box and be the good woman or the good man. Do the things to make your family & loved ones proud, do something that’s in the eyes of society that’s seen as giving a sense of achievement.

In my eyes, in my world that shines so bright you are not made to fit in a box. There’s no such thing as a standard mind - a standard type of loving yourself and others - there’s no such thing as fitting.
As bruised and confused as you might be I have to tell you this - you are a work of art. And your mind is rainbow - every single day.

But most importantly - I’m here to help you find your inner super-hero. Whether it’s mythical - from Ares to Poseidon, Afrodites to Hera - to your day to day movie heroes, whether you find yourself in Game of Thrones or in Joker. 

Your vulnerability is a sign of strength. Your pain - your constant changes and your ways of building yourself back up - piece by piece.
I’m here to tell you to break the chains of the foreboding joy like therapist Brene Brown so easily calls it. You’ve ever felt that joy of living life that’s so beautiful and raw and your health swells with passion, warmth and joy? Well, add foreboding, that element in your own soul that at the same times fears and is apprehensive about experiencing this.
I’m here to tell you that you’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg when It comes to your soul. We’ll speak about connection - about nature - about art and how every single moment is about loving and discovering yourself. Deeper and keeping that superhero within alive and building his powers day to day.
Life isn’t about playing it safe. It’s about coming out as a lotus from the mud. So make a risk - whethever it is emotional - whether it’s a connection - or battling anxiety, depression and many other monsters.

Take the risk and let the superhero find joy - stop overriding life.
Your sanctuary won’t be in the realm of folding laundry, checking your phone for the very same pieces of nothing and sitting in traffic getting angry.
We’ll be taking your through meadows - on a spiritual walk and a mental dive - colouring the surroundings from within us.

- Welcome to your super-hero practice -
- Starting August 1st

vineri, 19 mai 2017

The story of the soft Casper



When you wait
When you hide
That’s when we collide
On hold
In between empty spaces
In between 2 technicolor beats
Young hearts

Things that don’t make sense
People on different orbits
Runners on different tracks

There’s a storm inside of you
It will never reveal
There’s no moon, no time
Just another naked morning
A soft Casper
Pulverising minutes into stardust

We strangely match
Yet we strangely don’t exist
The answers don’t come when it’s busy
The answers come in the silence
And in the still

There’s more to find
And I’ve got so much more
For your mind to refill

But i’m merely an almost
Evaporating
While
You’re looking
For
The 

Feel

luni, 27 martie 2017

Shallows

Suffer for me in gold

He said

Now you live in another man's eyes

In between

A love song
A novel
And a lullaby

Surrender

Get lost on clouds
Empty streets

These stars 
They spit light towards your butterfly heart
The moon
Is covering itself with the clouds from your mind

Forgetful, forgetful
We're so alike

You have hidden shallows
But so do I
Let's drift away

You smell like a wolf's midnight
You taste like miracles 
And old jars of sunshine

sâmbătă, 31 decembrie 2016

Last day of the year



Emotion
Must be
A stringless kite

As it should be
Forever free
And slightly mad

It's been a cruel year
And now I only long for
The wild sea

A sea that cuts fogs
And sadness

A sea named after everything
And anything
That connects us

I'm packing the winter
And bringing you June
Unlike our October

Slightly more real
And less tragic

Whispering to your playlist
I take your hand
One last day of crossing waters

28 days
Until my skin
Will burn brightly
Pigments of thunder
Onto yours.

marți, 27 decembrie 2016

Exit signs


But darling my life is full of exit signs


I wish I could wrap you up in dreams and sweater lines
But I have no words left to say
I am still tangled up in the songs of yesterday


I forgot how to laugh
And disaster is slipping from the left side of your cheek
It's only those that don't fall in love
That dance with a monstrous passion

Well I'm sorry but emotion went out of fashion

I got you a permit
To enter the frontier of nowhere
Oh how can I not adore
Your shadow, your absence

Yet somehow

Hope is opening doorways and roadways.

duminică, 18 decembrie 2016

Coffee and cherry blossom


Morning has come and I have to go.

As I am sipping on the last drops of gin, your words come out like rust and gold filling me up with hope.

Can you not leave a little bit later?

I'm afraid not.

I've seen more goodbyes then hello but all of these have been more reasons to live for, more reason to see life beyond...beyond this musical abyss there are still so many undulating lights calling our name.

I've been threading never ending stories and I attached a couple of joyful tears onto your hug.

The way people look like when they say goodbye is the same as the look of the sailor knowing his ship will sink yet he stays there singing his last ode.

And now, can you tell me where do the lonely songs go? Onto the Island? But we are all islands, waiting to get discovered, waiting to find another reason to bloom, waiting for someone to transform us into a never ending blossoming spring.





It's not him
I am my only limit
Where I end
Is where I begin
I am limitless
Yet I limit myself
Like a white coffee
I want to live in the limit of your skin
I close my eyes
And hide between our dream
For a moment I am there
Blossoming
Mesmerised by your beam.

Narcissism and breadcrumbs

  For those that are or have been with a narcissistic partner - the patterns of their love stories go in general terribly wrong. I've so...