Fragmented Hope

 Sometimes we simply overdose on fragmented hope.

Because we try to forget on the bottled antidotes we found in the sentimental value of other people.

Lately I've been struggling to see again where I belong, it happens to me every three years and I realised I have to accept it - my DNA of not belonging.

We live in a society where positivity is king and we forget to allow ourselves to be sad when it's the case, to heal when we have to and rush to be judgmental on another's negativity while struggling.

I'm simply saying - we are better together - better when we support each other and embrace our flaws and strengths and project whatever good exists in us onto others.

Learn, but learning doesn't mean studying every day of your existence, it might simply mean enjoy the sun, that walk, the smile of your best friend or simply listening to music.

Not everyone has a heart like yours and that's fine - learn how to detach yourself once you are ready - bring abundance into your life - your love - your laughter and soon you will find that person you will forever love - YOU.

Painting by: J.W.Turner

Narcissism and breadcrumbs

 

For those that are or have been with a narcissistic partner - the patterns of their love stories go in general terribly wrong.

I've somehow through my emotional trajectory managed to attract them and live with them and mould my heart around their sandy & icy clouds. I've heard their golden stories and seen the empires they claimed - it's a game, it's a play throughout their entire lives.

I've learnt you can not experience true love with one but breadcrumbs of feelings / emotions / facts - it's never the entire loaf - it's breadcrumbs of love and imagination to keep you locked on the position - a loner in a relationship in the Kingdom of You Will Never Really Know.

It all starts enchanting and then transforms into a dungeon, from the heat of love and happiness to the burn of lies, deceit and pain.

It all starts with a beautiful mirror, that attracts in the background of your portrait butterflies and Edenic plants to an ice cold portrait of criticism. 
Unfortunately the narcissism that you share you life with lives a tragic and distructive life, carefully disguised with lies and the image of the false Self.
This false Self, knows it all, loves anger and inflicting pain onto others.

If you're battling such relationships and live & love in terror please know you are not alone. 

While trying to balance the tight rope of a fake reality and a fake self they keep throwing arrows at those who are competition or refuse to idealise them.
It's abusive, it's painful and you might get lost along the way in the charismatic persona of your unpredictable partner.
He's forever innocent and guilt seems to somehow not match his vocabulary In any way, as if he purchased his words from the most noble markets of words.

These over the counter toxic words will create a nest where you're invited to stay, you're the antidote that needs to be loved and tortured and act like a source of energy.
Disagreements are not options - the goal is to obliterate the target.

Please know one thing loving yourself is the first step from healing from a narcissistic lover. Chose yourself. Chose the truth.

Awake your inner hero

Welcome to the sanctuary.

My name is Liz and I’m here to guide you on opening all the doors that lead to your inner soul. It may not be a place that you know and it’s fine to feel lost at first, but we’ve got tea and poetry - psychology and a lot of soul.

There are many times in life that you may have been asked to fit in a box and be the good woman or the good man. Do the things to make your family & loved ones proud, do something that’s in the eyes of society that’s seen as giving a sense of achievement.

In my eyes, in my world that shines so bright you are not made to fit in a box. There’s no such thing as a standard mind - a standard type of loving yourself and others - there’s no such thing as fitting.
As bruised and confused as you might be I have to tell you this - you are a work of art. And your mind is rainbow - every single day.

But most importantly - I’m here to help you find your inner super-hero. Whether it’s mythical - from Ares to Poseidon, Afrodites to Hera - to your day to day movie heroes, whether you find yourself in Game of Thrones or in Joker. 

Your vulnerability is a sign of strength. Your pain - your constant changes and your ways of building yourself back up - piece by piece.

I’m here to tell you to break the chains of the foreboding joy like therapist Brene Brown so easily calls it. You’ve ever felt that joy of living life that’s so beautiful and raw and your health swells with passion, warmth and joy? Well, add foreboding, that element in your own soul that at the same times fears and is apprehensive about experiencing this.

I’m here to tell you that you’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg when It comes to your soul. We’ll speak about connection - about nature - about art and how every single moment is about loving and discovering yourself. Deeper and keeping that superhero within alive and building his powers day to day.

Life isn’t about playing it safe. It’s about coming out as a lotus from the mud. So make a risk - whethever it is emotional - whether it’s a connection - or battling anxiety, depression and many other monsters.

Take the risk and let the superhero find joy - stop overriding life.

Your sanctuary won’t be in the realm of folding laundry, checking your phone for the very same pieces of nothing and sitting in traffic getting angry.
We’ll be taking your through meadows - on a spiritual walk and a mental dive - colouring the surroundings from within us.

- Welcome to your super-hero practice -
- Starting August 1st

The story of the soft Casper

When you wait

When you hide

That’s when we collide

On hold

In between empty spaces

In between 2 technicolor beats

Young hearts

Things that don’t make sense

People on different orbits

Runners on different tracks

There’s a storm inside of you

It will never reveal

There’s no moon, no time

Just another naked morning

A soft Casper

Pulverising minutes into stardust

We strangely match

Yet we strangely don’t exist

The answers don’t come when it’s busy

The answers come in the silence

And in the still

There’s more to find

And I’ve got so much more

For your mind to refill

But i’m merely an almost

Evaporating

While

You’re looking

For

The 

Feel

Shallows

Suffer for me in gold

He said

Now you live in another man's eyes

In between

A love song
A novel
And a lullaby

Surrender

Get lost on clouds
Empty streets

These stars 
They spit light towards your butterfly heart
The moon
Is covering itself with the clouds from your mind

Forgetful, forgetful
We're so alike

You have hidden shallows
But so do I
Let's drift away

You smell like a wolf's midnight
You taste like miracles 
And old jars of sunshine

Last day of the year

Emotion
Must be
A stringless kite

As it should be
Forever free
And slightly mad

It's been a cruel year
And now I only long for
The wild sea

A sea that cuts fogs
And sadness

A sea named after everything
And anything
That connects us

I'm packing the winter
And bringing you June
Unlike our October

Slightly more real
And less tragic

Whispering to your playlist
I take your hand
One last day of crossing waters

28 days
Until my skin
Will burn brightly
Pigments of thunder
Onto yours.

Exit signs

But darling my life is full of exit signs

I wish I could wrap you up in dreams and sweater lines
But I have no words left to say
I am still tangled up in the songs of yesterday

I forgot how to laugh
And disaster is slipping from the left side of your cheek
It's only those that don't fall in love
That dance with a monstrous passion

Well I'm sorry but emotion went out of fashion

I got you a permit
To enter the frontier of nowhere
Oh how can I not adore
Your shadow, your absence

Yet somehow

Hope is opening doorways and roadways.