Elegy

You may break my heart
But don’t wake up my spirit
My mind is shaped like a bruise
Don’t make me happy
Then dress me in black
Don’t say you are forever young
When all you hope is to stop me from being strong.

We are all paper planes, purposeless in vain, living in the memory of our Other, which is inseparable from our own existence. Don’t tell me you can cross any waters for me or become my saviour. Don’t ask me to walk in your shoes then abandon me in the desert of your heart with nothing but the thoughts of a future in shades of utopia.
Don’t dare, don’t dare to hold me and then release me and not even look when I fall down like Icarus. Don’t make me a mountain of pain and remorse when you could potentially turn me into your casual sun. Yes I want to be your September sun, warming you up gently, I want to embrace your every single word and make love to your memory. Because that’s all I have. 


don’t walk on the same road with me but at least look at how my road looks because of you, the changes you brought.  You are trapped under my skin but wasn’t there a piece of you that didn’t want to escape? Isn’t there a part of your whispers that wanted a temporary shelf, an intimate shelter like my mind? It felt like it, but here I am now standing on the road where we meet. It’s 3 am and I’m just as empty as you found me at first, I had to empty myself of everything as the thought of you weighted more than my whole life. 

Still wondering if you are rather a shadow, a fragment of my imagination or just a scent of indignation.